The Bedtime Routine that Helped My Foster Child and I Bond Quicker!

For the first year and a half of fostering Kitty she did not sleep through the night. Then, I started implementing this bedtime routine and everything change!

For the first year and a half of fostering Kitty she did not sleep through the night. She would cry and whine, and call out to me. At bedtime it was automatic waterworks. The more she cried the more I felt like crying! I knew we couldn’t go on like that.

I looked for a solution and found an AHA! article on the importance of routines for children that changed everything. The author reflected on how much a child’s life changes regularly - transitioning from diapers to potty training, new grade levels, teachers, and classmates, moving to a new city, parents divorcing, grandparents passing away, etc. I began to empathize even more with Kitty. Not only did she go through the “usual” childhood transitions, she’s also been removed from her birth family, placed in a home, then into foster care with me. It made perfect sense! As a teacher, I often see it in the classroom. Students thrive on schedules, knowing the environment is consistent helps them feel safe and secure.

I decided to create an evening routine for her. We complete the same steps at the same time every night and it’s been a game changer!

Bath Time

Warm water, suds, and her favorite pink My Little Pony dolls help calm her before bed. It’s a time when I have her ear and am able to learn about her day - what upset her, what she’s learning, what she’s excited about, etc.

Prayer

I start with a children’s bible story and reciting the Lord’s prayer. We practice different ways to talk to God. I do my best to reassure her that God knows exactly where she is at this exact moment and He is watching over us. I share the importance of praying for her family even though she could not be with them.

Bed Time

I hug her, ask her if she is ready for tomorrow, and tuck her in. I flick on the nightlight, leave the hallway light on, and leave her bedroom door wide open.

No one solution is a quick fix, but some methods are tried and true! Since incorporating the routine, not only have I seen a change in her attitude and behavior before bedtime but also less nightmares and tantrums. My hope is she will learn from this example and find healthy ways to stabilize as she grows up.

Sharing is caring! I’d love to hear your bedtime routines, tips, and tricks in the comments.

Also, have you created other daily routines for yourself and your children? Why or why not?

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